14 and pregnant
by akatsuki-member-kairi
Summary: Two sisters get transported into the Naruto world by accident and now they must find their way home. Sasori/OC, Tobi/OC, slight Deidara/OC
1. Chapter 1: Blue's Clues

Alright, so...here it is?

**Chapter 1: Blue's Clues**

"Kerri, Dad just left." said my older sister Kaitlyn.

"Finally, thought that bastard would never leave."

We left the room and ran into the living room. We always go in when he leaves.

I walked over to the computer and sat in the desk chair. Kaitlyn sat on the couch. I threw my arms up in the air.

"WHAT TIME IS IT?" I yelled enthusiastically.

"AAAAAAAADVENTURE TIME!" yelled Kaitlyn.

"No, it's yaoi fanfiction time."

"Oh...Right."

I logged on and went to , went to Anime/Manga, and clicked on Naruto.

"Look for one that looks fun." I said while letting Kaitlyn take over the computer.

"This one does."

"What is it?"

"It's a SasoDei. Called Just Great, by oohIgotYouWasted."

"Rated?"

"M."

"Sounds good."

"Hell yeah, lemon time."

"Ewwww...okay, whatever." I got up and dragged a stool next to the computer and we read it. "Oh my fucking god that's just gross. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EW! I forgot how much I hate these things! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" I complained.

"What's your problem? I loved it!" replied Kaitlyn.

"Yeah, well, I want to read a non-lemony one now move it." I waved my hand signaling Kaitlyn to get out of the chair. She got up and sat on the couch. She grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels.

"Boring. Stupid. Ew. Oh my fucking god. Kerri, Blue's Clue's is on RIGHT NOW!"

"O.M.F.G. Wait, Steve or Joe?"

"Steve?"

"Okay, in a minute, I have to get dressed. I'm going to Kaylea's later." I walked down to the end of the hall, my room. I looked in the dresser, wondering what shirt to wear with my black mini-skirt. I got tired of deciding, so I just went with my shoulder-cut blouse. I took my T-shirt off, put on the blouse and tied its string.

I was about to leave the room when a picture caught my eye. I bent down to pick it up. I looked at it in my hand, a picture of me and my sister. 'This was taken a month ago.' I thought, 'I've been looking everywhere for this!'

"Kerri, hurry the fuck up, you're gonna miss it!" Kaitlyn yelled.

"I'm coming woman!" I yelled back. I stuffed the picture in my pocket and walked back into the living room. I grabbed my phone and put that in my pocket too.

"Where're you goin'?" I asked Kaitlyn, looking at her purple and black striped dress.

"Later I'm going to the library with Steven, now watch this already!"

"Okay, okay, just let me put my contacts in. " I went down the hall into the bathroom. I got out the contacts and took my glasses off. I put the contacts in my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror. They made my chocolatey brown eyes just pop! I went back down the hallway.

"Kerri look! They're about to do it!"

"Do what?" I looked at the TV and finally understood what she meant now. I stood next to her and did the moves with her. While we sang, "Blue scadooed, we can too!" Kaitlyn got an idea.

"Dude we should totally try that just for fun."

"Cool! I'm so in."

"Okay, then go get that Naruto book you have."

"Alright." I ran down the hallway to my room and grabbed the first Naruto volume I saw, then I dashed out of the room into the living room. I dropped the book onto the ground. Kaitlyn looked up and glared at me. "What?" I questioned.

"It's supposed to be OPEN, you DUMBASS!"

"Heh heh, oh yeah." I opened the book to a random page.

"Okay, okay. "Kaitlyn held her hands up. "Ready, let's do this." said Kaitlyn.

We swung our arms like retards, the way Steve always does and sang, "Blue scadooed, we can too!"

And that's when something fucking incredible happened.

Okay, so this is the first story I've put on here, but not the first I've written. I'll be posting more soon.


	2. Chapter 2: Through the Vortex

For the record: Yes, I know that Tobi is really Madara. But honestly, Obito is so much cuter, so she wants him instead. Therefore, for the sake of the story, Tobi is Obito with a dark side.

Kaitlyn: Yay! This chapter is all about ME!

Me: That's only because I'm unconscious!

Kaitlyn: HAHA!

Me: Don't make me kill you off.

Kaitlyn: -cries-

Tobi: Nooo! You made pretty girl cry! Don't cries pretty girl!

Me: What the fuck? Tobi, get the hell out of here! Anyways, here's the next chapter

Chapter 2: Through the vortex

We jumped up and saw a bright light. 'Something isn't right here.' I thought. 'Why don't I feel the floor?' I looked down and saw nothing. We were falling!

"AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE FLOOR?" I yelled.

"How the fuck would I know?" Kaitlyn screamed.

I looked down. 'Looks like we'll be falling for a while' I thought. "Hey Kaitlyn, kinda like Alice in Wonderland!"

"Ha!" she yelled. Then she put her arms in the air and yelled "Weeeeeee!" Like it was a rollar coaster or something.

"Aren't you scared at all?" I yelled.

"Eh, not really." she said.

I looked back down, I was starting to see some sort of ground. I could see there were people below us. "Look out!" we shouted to them.

I landed with a loud CRASH! On something and was rendered unconscious. Kaitlyn, on the other hand, was fortunate enough to be caught by someone. She looked at the person who'd caught her. "HOLY FUCKING CHEESECAKE! H-HIDAN?" He looked at her.

"Where the fuck did you come from?" he asked.

"Put me. The fuck. DOWN!" Kaitlyn yelled through gritted teeth. He let her go.

"Don't flatter yourself bitch, you're not my fucking type."

"Would someone PLEASE get this girl off me?" Sasori complained in his monotone voice.

"Someone get that girl ON me!" Said Hidan. Kaitlyn slapped him.

"She okay?" Kaitlyn asked Sasori, pointing to her sister. Sasori looked at her.

"Her leg seems to be sprained but that's about it." Sasori picked me up and carried me down a hallway and into a room. Pein looked at Kaitlyn.

"You, girl, explain. Now."

"Well um...I'm Kaitlyn and that girl is Kerri, my little sister. We got here through some kind of raging vortex, but um...I have no idea how we can get back." She explained.

"And why should we not kill you?"

"We'll do anything you want us to...I guess."

"And if our needs are...sexual?" Pein pressed as he stroked his imaginary beard .

"Oh FUCK. YEAH. Dibs on the little one!" yelled Hidan.

Kaitlyn started to back up, but Deidara was behind her. "Relax, we were only kidding, un." Deidara patted her head. "Unless you want to, yeah." Deidara put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up to stare into his blue eyes.

"Maybe I do." Kaitlyn grinned evilly. She stood on her toes and kissed him. Deidara blushed with surprise.

Kaitlyn turned to look at who was in the room: Pein, Hidan, Deidara, and Itachi.

"Just wondering...which room is Tobi's?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Room 102. Down the hall, to the left." Itachi answered her.

"Thanks." Kaitlyn skipped down the hall, she stopped in front of Tobi's door: the numbers 102 gleamed. She took a breath and knocked politely..

"Come iiiiiiiin." Tobi singsonged in his small and childish voice.

"Tobi's a good boy!" Kaitlyn screamed at the top of her lungs as she opened the door.

"Tobi IS a good boy!" Tobi ran to her and hugged her tight.

~Meanwhile...In that other room...~

"What's all that screaming about?" Kisame asked.

"I dunno, She's probably raping him or something." Itachi said.

"Probably..." Pein said.

"Yeeeeeeeeeah..." Sasori nodded slowly...

~Back to Tobi's room~

"You know who ELSE is a good boy?" Asked Kaitlyn.

"Oooooooo...who is?" Tobi squealed.

"Obito." There was an awkward silence. "You can stop pretending you're not."

He took off his mask. Kaitlyn looked at his adorable face. She glomped him and he fell on the floor with her on top of him. "How did you know?"

"Well..."

-One explanation later-

"So you're from another dimension?" Kaitlyn nodded.

"And we'll have have to stay here until we can find our way back home."

"Wait...we?"

"Me and my little sister, Kerri, she's in the infirmary or something."

"If you don't mind me asking...how old are you?"

"Sixteen, silly."

"That is good because I'm seventeen."

"What does that have to do with..." Kaitlyn was cut off from the rest of her sentence because Obito had kissed her...and she almost died and went to Hell.

End of chapter 2~

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Kaitlyn: That was one hell of a kiss!

Obito: Hellz yeah it was...But this one'll be better -makesout-

Me: Guys stop it! Ugh...anyways, please review! See ya!

Kaitlyn: Peace out my home skillets!


	3. Chapter 3: The Awakening

Sorry it took forever to update :( kaitlyn refused to type and I FINALLY got her i've been at my mom's for like ever and she has no internet. So here's chapter three hope you like it!

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Chapter 3: The Awakening

I was just lying there, and everything was black. I felt a cold hand brush my cheek. "Don't touch me." I said automatically.

I realized I was awake, and my eyes shot open. I blinked off the sleep so I could see, and the very first thing I saw was Sasori staring down at me. I looked into his eyes, they were the same chocolate brown that mine were. The only difference was that his stare was cold, cruel, evil, and almost heartless. "Sasori-danna," He raised an eyebrow. I took my eyes off him to look around the room. It was sort of like a hospital room. Of course, I knew it wasn't. I went back to his cold stare. "So it wasn't a dream?"

"'fraid not." I smiled wide and stood up on the bed. I ignored all pain in my leg and started jumping up and down while cheering, "HAHA YESSSS! I knew that couldn't be a dream! This is too good to be true!"

I was too busy jumping around to notice that Hidan had entered the room. Then, without thinking, I jumped off the bed. Hidan ran towards me to catch me. "Looks like I'm two for fucking two." He just stood there, holding me, and we silently stared at each other. "Wow! You're even hotter when you're awake!"

I frowned. "Hidan, I'm fourteen, and you're like...old."

Sasori looked at him."Hidan, put her down, I can see her panties."

I crossed my arm, closed my eyes, and looked away. "If you can...then what's on them?" I questioned.

Sasori tilted his head "looks like hearts." My eyes shot open and I started flailing and blushing. "Noooooooo! Why'd you say thaaaat? Don't you know what a rhetorical question is?" I ranted.

Hidan smirked. "Here Sasori, you fucking take her." before he had the chance to respond, he put me in his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck. I felt safe there. He looked at me, only to get a 'What the fuck?' look. Hidan squatted down and looked up.

"You're fucking right Sasori, they are fucking hearts!" I turned redder and glared at him.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I stuck my tongue out at him. He smirked.

"Hey, that's not a fucking shitty idea." he rushed out of the room to look for his camera. Sasori put me back on the bed.

"um...why back here? I wanna get out of this room." Sasori looked at me with a blank expression.

"You can't walk, your leg is sprained."

I rolled my eyes. "BullSHIT I can't walk!" I yelled.

"Okay, whatever, but I'm not helping you."

I jumped down from the bed and started walking. "Seeeeee? I'm fine." and right after I said that, my face hit the floor. I grabbed my leg in pain, it really hurt.

"If by 'fine', you mean, 'falling face-first on the floor' then yes, you're perfectly fine." he chuckled at me.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" I mocked a commercial,where old people fall and can't get up.

"And I said I wasn't gonna help you." he smirked.

I looked at him with big puppy-dog eyes, "Pweeeeeeeeeease?" I pleaded. Sasori rolled his eyes and held his hand out to me. I grabbed it and he pulled me back onto the bed. He walked over to the counter and grabbed a bottle and a small medicine cup. He brought them over to me.

"Here, take this, it'll help your leg."

I glared at the cup. "Can't I just take some pills? I hate liquid medicine. It's so gross!"

"Just drink it." he stated.

I sighed and took a small sip. I spit it out on the floor. "Blach! This is grape! I hate grape! Grape is the only thing I can't take!" I stared at the medicine, then looked at Sasori. "you can't make me take this!"

Sasori smiled at my words. "Is that a challenge?"

"Maybe." I said, putting the cup on the table next to the bed and crossing my arms.

"Fine, you don't have to take it" I looked at him in confusion.

"Really?"

Sasori took the medicine cup. "Yup."

I put my fist in the air. "Yessss!" another victory for me...or so I thought. I was too busy celebrating to notice that Sasori had drank the medicine. He came over right next to me. "What-" before I could say anything else Sasori kissed me. Of course I absolutely fucking loved it. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just opened my mouth. He took that opportunity to put the medicine in my mouth.

He took his lips off mine, and that's when I realized he totally tricked me. I swallowed it.

"There, I made you take it, what do you have to say about that?" he smirked.

"...got any more medicine?"

* * *

SasorixKerri's song is Poison by Groove Coverage

TobixKaitlyn's song is Whispers in the Dark by Skillet- you can check them out on youtube!

for those who don't know why the title is called what it is FUCK OFF! It doen't happen until later in... as for the sex not for a few more chapters ;)

Til next time!


	4. Chapter 4: The Meeting

Soooo...yeah...you see this, right? Okay! So it's NOOOOOOOT a dream...whoa...Chapter 4! Anyways...sorry about the writer's block, it had to be rewritten a couple times.

Chapter 4: The Meeting

So Kaitlyn and I walked into the room where Akatsuki held their meetings. It was a medium-sized conference room, with an epicly epic table.

Yeah...It looks kinda like that.

Anyways, Pein was at the top and everyone else was seated at the sides.

"What's 'sup, puddin' pop?" Kaitlyn said with a mischievous grin.

Pein, Itachi, and Sasori all twitched their eyebrows. I giggled.

"Just. Sit. Down." Pein said through gritted teeth.

Kaitlyn walked to the left side of the table and slumped into the chair next to Deidara. I went to the right and sat by Itachi.

"Okay," he started, "many of you know these girls that popped out of nowhere." he looked at us, "We've decided not to kill you...if you do some chores."

I shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"CHOOOORES? Why can't you just kill us?" Kaitlyn yelled.

"Kaitlyn!" I screamed at her, I looked at Pein, "Sorry, my LAZY sister didn't mean what she just said." I laughed nervously.

"Okay...Well before I forget, it's time for...THE WHEEEEEL OOOOOF CHORES!" he said excitedly.

Deidara got up and went to the closet behind him. He came out a minute later pushing a giant wheel over to leader.

"That's not thing only thing that should come out of the closet!" I laughed. Deidara shot me a deathglare.

"Whatthefuck is this?" Kaitlyn demanded.

"The wheel of chores, un. You spin this wheel and whatever it lands on is the chore you get for the month, yeah." Deidara explained.

"Yes, but before we begin...speak your names." Pein said as he again stroked his nonexistent beard.

"KAITLYN." Kaitlyn yelled.

I rolled my eyes, "Kerri."

"Alright then, now that that's out of the way...let us begin the wheel of chores!" Leader nodded to me. "Kerri, you go first."

"Oh joy." I said, rolling my eyes again and walking over to the wheel. I spun it with little effort. It barely went around once. When it stopped, I looked at the picture of a guy by a giant cooking pot.

"Looks like it's boiled in oil-just kidding haha, it's cooking!" Deidara laughed at me. I wanted to punch him for his stupidity.

I pushed Kaitlyn over to the wheel, "It's your turn."

"NOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA WOOOOORK!" she protested.

"Well, it's either this, or we kill you." Pein reminded her, she sighed.

She spun the wheel, the spot she landed on had 2 words. "...The fuck? I have to clean everyone's closet?"

"Yup." Hidan smiled, "and be fucking careful, most wouldn't touch anyfuckingthing in my closet with a 10 foot pole!"

Kaitlyn sat in the nearest chair and folded her arms across her chest in a pissy manner. Itachi stood up and put his hands on the wheel. "It's my turn." he stated. His spin seemed to go on forever, it finally landed on laundry duty. Kaitlyn laughed at him, "Haha! That's right, clean my dirty underwear and Kisame's jizz socks!"

Kisame stood up,"Hey! How do you know about-?" "SILENCE! ….It's my turn." Pein shouted.

Pein landed on gardening. After that, Deidara kept getting things that were already taken, after about five or so tries, he got shopping. He groaned. "NooOOOOOoooo, not shoooOOOOooopping..." he said like a whiny teenager.

"Dammit, not Deidara! He ALWAYS spends ALL the money I give him, when I expect at least **SOME **change!" Kakuzu lectured Deidara. He rolled his eyes.

"Awww, that means I'm stuck with the dishes." Kisame complained. I stood up to leave.

"Oh yeah, also, Sasori, you and Deidara will go to the Sand village and capture the one tail next week." I was almost to the door, but froze when I heard that. I dropped to my hands and knees.

"No..." I said quietly, "NOOOO!" I screamed as I started crying.

Itachi pointed a finger at me and looked at Kaitlyn, "What's wrong with her?" he asked nonchalantly. She shrugged.

"The fuck? Why are you fucking crying?" Hidan asked.

I wiped the tears off my face with the back of my hand. "S...Sa...Sa..." I started as I burst into tears again.

"Oh. My. FUCKING JASHIN! Just stop the fucking crying and fucking tell us already!"

I calmed myself, and I told them what would happen, "Sasori...is g-going to d-die." I managed to studder. Sasori looked at me with shock.

"Ohhhhhh...yeah haha, I forgot all about that!" Kaitlyn said.

Pein just looked at us. "and you know this how...?" I sighed,

"Just trust us on this, it's not like we'd be lying." I told him.

"Alright, I suppose we're forced to believe you. But prove that you know things like that."

I smiled and winked at Kaitlyn, "Hi **Nagato**, say hi to **Konan** for me...after all, she's standing next to you in your **stupid paper tree**!"

"Okay...point proven."

"Do you completely trust me on this?" I asked. He shrugged. "Good," I smiled, "because we'll keep Sasori alive."

"So how are you going to help me out?" Sasori asked. I thought it over for a minute.

"Well I was just warning you...it's about all we can do...it's not like we're ninjas or have chakra or anything."

Kisame smiled his sharky grin at me. "Actually, you do, and judging by Samehada, you have A LOT of it."

"No...fucking...way." Kaitlyn's eyes lit up.

Well that's it! Til next time! 3 have fun kiddies!

Hopefully we'll finish chapter 5 soon!


	5. Chapter 5: It's All Under the Table

Sorry it took so long guys, Kaitlyn didn't feel like typing and Kerri didn't feel like writing so...anyways. This is what you get after so long. Kerri's actually been writing other things that...probably won't make it on. So...enjoy this piece of shit that we have compiled of our hilarious adventures. We love you, and whatnot.

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Chapter 5: **It's All Under The Table**

"We have chakra?" I asked again, making sure I had heard it right.

Kaitlyn looked down at her hand, "Fuck. Yes." Pein looked at Kisame.

"Are you sure, Kisame?"

"Of course, I wouldn't gain anything by lying." Pein gave a head nod. Kaitlyn smiled evilly as she put her palm out and concentrated.

Out of nowhere, a big ball of fire came out of her hand, flew upwards and burned a hole in the ceiling. "Aw, shit!"

I looked at the hole. Then, a bunch of lady's underwear falls out of it onto Kisame. He stuck his head out from the giant pile. "...and now I have a boner." and with that, re-submerged into the seemingly unused underpants and bras.

"Who the hell's is this?" Kakuzu yelled, picking up a random thong. He glanced at the price tag, "Thirty bucks for a thong? That is **way** too much money!"

Pein made shifty eyes and slowly started backing towards the door. "That's-um-uh-Konan's!" he said nervously. Everyone looked at him, and then he crumped out of the room.

An awkward moment of silence followed.

I broke it, "So uh, we'll start training next week?" I asked the room.

Itachi nodded. "You'll be starting with taijutsu."I smiled and thought about it. "But wait...I can't do flips or even do a high kick." I held my hand out, palm facing downward. I tried to do it, and for some reason, it was easy.

"Ooooo! Now try a back bend!"Zetsu said somewhat enthusiastically with lots of eyebrow wiggling. I puts my hands up and leaned back until I did one.

"How the fuck...?" Kaitlyn said.

"I don't know! But now I'm stuck!" I said, starting to panic.

"Why can't my dick be stuck in your ass?" Hidan said, bored.

"Shut up, Hidan. No one cares what you think." Kaitlyn said, swiftly punching him in his cocksucking face. He fell over and muddered some random made up curse words as he rubbed his cheek.

"Put your weight into your hands and you'll flip back, un." Deidara told me. I nodded, and did as he said. Unfortunately, I pushed too hard and fell backwards into his lap. I fucking swear he planned it.

"Your ass is hot! Is your dad a baker?" I facepalmed while Hidan snickered from the floor.

"One; that is the gayest pick up line **ever**, and two; you didn't even say it right!"

"Dammit, Hidan! You told me that was how you said it!" Hidan laughed and fell over, even though he was already on the floor.

"Ahahahaha! You sounded so fucking stupid!" everyone soon was laughing at Deidara.

"Hahaha! Oh God, you did!" I laughed.

"Only true morons mess up something as simple as a pick up line!" Kaitlyn said between fits of laughter.

"Well, then how is it that you say it?" Pein asked. Wait...when the fuck did he come back?

"I believe it's 'Your dad must be a baker, because your buns are hot.'" Sasori said all monotone.

"Annnnnnnnnnd cue Kerri squealing like a fangirl." Kaitlyn said. I took in a huge breath and...

"**!**" I squealed at the top of my lungs. All of the Akatsuki jumped at my sudden squeal. I jumped into Sasori's lap (everyone is still at the table, with the exception of Kisame and Hidan. Kaitlyn was sitting between them. Kerri sat in between Deidara and Itachi.) He almost immediately pushed me off, though, and I fell anime schoolgirl style and all its fanservice-y glory.

"I SAW THAT!" Hidan yelled from under the table...which he was there for some reason...

I got up and dusted myself off, muddering "Bitch-faced whore." and went back to my chair.

"I can't believe I got **shopping**, un." Deidara said, whining to make everyone return to what little resemblance this story has to a plot. "I hate it!"

"I fucking **hate** chores!" Kaitlyn yelled.

"I **hate** cooking!" I followed.

"I. **Hate**. Laundry." Itachi said.

"I just **love** gardening!" Pein smiled as he smiled excitedly. Everyone at the table slowly turned their head and looked at him as if he had grown a second head. He blinked awkwardly, looking for a subject change. His eyes rested on me and he smirked. "By the way, **love** the heart panties."

"Fuck all of you!" I said as I flipped them off.

"Is that an offer?" Hidan asked, grinning evilly from between my legs under the table.

"GET THE FUCK OUT FROM UNDER THERE!" I kicked him in the face.

"Owwwww! Fucking abuse, man!" He rubbed his face wound. Again.

"Ugh, you know what?" I pulled my panties off from underneath my skirt. I tried to throw them at Pein, but they kinda missed and hit Itachi instead. Right in his weasel face.

He peeled them off with a disgusted look. "Ew." He flicked them at Deidara. Who picked them off, smiled evilly, then tossed them right onto...Sasori's head.

He hadn't been paying attention. Deidara snickered when they landed. "Yeah, real mature, you brat." he tossed them back to me. I dropped them to the floor, where Hidan promptly snatched them up.

"The hell's he doing under there, anyways?" Kaitlyn asked, looking under the table as Hidan took a big inhale of panty aroma. "...I didn't see that..."

"So um...any questions, anyone?" Pein asked the room.

"The fuck was their names, again?" Hidan finally crawled out from underneath the table.

Kaitlyn smirked, "And what was yours? Derp, or Herp Derp?"

"Naw, I think it was Hurrrdurrrrn." we high-fived.

He flipped us a double bird. "It's fucking Hidan." he growled.

"Whatever you say, Hurrrdurrrn." Kaitlyn laughed.

"Ah hem!" Pein interrupted. "Just re-announce them."

"Kaitlyn. Kerri." I replied, pointing to my sister, then myself.

"Now, anything else?"

Deidara's blondeness was showing. "So does your shirt come with your panties, hmm?"

"Fuck you, that's what." I said simply.

"Oh, you know you want to." he winked. I slammed my head into the table. I heard Kaitlyn make a gagging sound.

"." Pein stretched. "I'm done here."

"I want food." I announced. Everyone started to leave the room, and I slowly walked over to the pile and picked up a thong. "I like this one." I quietly stuffed it into my pocket. I caught up to Itachi. "So, where's the kitchen?"

He said nothing, but instead grabbed my arm and lead me down the hall, and made a left turn. "The door is marked 'Kitchen'" he said, then left.

So when I finally got to the pantry, I opened it AND IT WAS LIKE FUCKING **NARNIA** OR SOME SHIT!

"What...Why is this even necessary to have this much fruity cereal?" I looked at the cereals, which were each clearly marked with a name of an Akatsuki member. They were...

Honey Nut Cheerios – Pein

Fruit Loops - Kisame

Cheerios – Obi Tobi

Special K – Itachi

Cinnamon Toast Crunch – Deidara

Life - Hidan

Cocoa Puffs – Sasori

Raisin Bran – Kakuzu

…...so after I was done laughing at the hilariousness of this, I was thinking of who's cereal to steal. I could totally steal almost any of these. Except Raisin Bran. Tastes like shit on dry toast.

….Deidara's. Definitely Deidara's. I grabbed the Cinnamon Toast Crunch and decided to eat it now.

"The hell are you doing with the Toast Crunch?" Kaitlyn waltzed in.

"Bored. Eating. Gonna make some crap Asian food soon. Might wanna eat something delicious before I make it." I said with my mouth full of cinnamony goodness.

Kaitlyn looked into Narnia. "Kisame's cereal. Must...have." She jacked the box and poured herself a bowl. "Oh Kisaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!" She yelled into the hall. "I'm eating your Fruuuuuuuit Looooooooops! And there's nothing you can do about it, you little bitch!"

She waited a minute, and there was no response.

"Huh, I wonder where he is that he can't hear me..."

* * *

~Meeting Room~

"Kisame, get outta the pile." Pein kicked the stack.

His head poked out. "Awwwwww maaaaan!"

~end

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For those of you that enjoy bitching about "Ohhhh! The chapters aren't long enough! I can't orgasm!". First of all, this is a fanfiction. Not sex. And congraduthefrickalations. You got it, bitches.

See you next time.

Also, Kaitlyn enjoys pasta. Send her some. Her address is 1800 Getafuckinglife Lane.


	6. Chapter 6: Caffination ftw

Oops. It seems we forgot. Well, that's our bad. Then again, Kaitlyn received exactly 0 bowls of pasta to give her the motivation to remind Kerri to write so...maybe it's _**your**_ bad.

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Chapter 6: **Caffination ftw**

I walked out of Narnia with the box of cereal.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, hmm?" Deidara asked me.

"I'm in ur Narnia, stealin yo cerealz" I responded, making an innocent face as I fucking destroyed his cereal. Kaitlyn was also fucking destroying cereal. Kisame's.

~15 minutes later~

"Where does it end?" Deidara had been watching me munch on his cereal, making no attempts to stop me whatsoever.

I stopped mid-bite to respond, "My ass."

"Oh, that's naaaaaasty." he picked up the box to see if there was enough left for him. "There's not even enough left for a single bowl, you bitch!"

I smirked at him as I took another bite. "What're you gonna do about it? You can't hit me."

He did a prissy little scream and threw the box across the room. Itachi happened to be walking in that moment, and got hit in the face with it. The room fell silent.

"I came...to get some damn coffee...to calm my rage..." Everyone remained quiet as Kisame rushed over and handed him a cup of coffee. Itachi picked up the mug and presented it to the crowd. "I am weasel." he stated. "Kisame," he began as he set it back on the table. "This is not my mug."

"What...what do you mean? That's totally your mug!" Kisame said nervously.

"No, no this is not my mug at all. This is the stupid idea you keep trying to force on me!" he smacked it off the table, sending the sweet black nectar of the gods spraying all over Kisame. He turned to him with glowing sharingans. "Now, where is MY mug? The one that says, 'I killed my entire clan and all I got was this stupid coffee mug'?" Kisame whimpered and ran to get the cup and coffee, some of it dripping off his clothes. Kaitlyn and I just watched the scene play out in awe.

'Is this really how they act off screen?', I thought.

"God, it's as if this is a bad fanfic." Kaitlyn said as she put her empty fruit loop bowl in the sink. I agreed, and also put my bowl in the sink. "Whatcha makin'?" Kaitlyn asked in her cutesy voice.

I thought for a minute. "Curry." I replied. She raised her eyebrow at me like she does.

"Since when can you make curry?"

I grabbed something off the counter and held it in front of me. "Since there's a cookbook right here." I said, grinning. I got all the stuff I needed and went to work. Itachi and Kisame left, probably to go have sex or something. I looked in the fridge for a tasty beverage. I frowned at the...limited choices.

"Uh...why is there nothing but beer...and apple juice...in the fridge?" I yelled as Deidara started walking in.

"Cuz Tobi likes apple juice, yeah." Deidara answered.

I looked at him. "I was talking about the beer, moron."

"Well, what do you expect? This is a manly organization, not a princess picnic. Beer only, the drink of men!"

"I'm allergic...to barley...which is in beer..." Kaitlyn said, suddenly sad for the first time since we got here.

"Well, I'm not." I gloated as I grabbed a beer and chugged the first gulp. "Go tell the others that the food's ready." Then I left the room.

He apparently also grabbed a beer and walked out of the room, because he had a beer in his hand as he appeared next to me.

"Hey, aren't you like 19?" I questioned. "That's a bit young to be drinking."

"Yeah, so?" he opened his beer. "You are too."

I looked at the beer in my hand. "Touche." I took another gulp. "This is some damn good beer." Deidara smiled evilly.

"You know, if you want, you can sleep in my room." he said.

I smiled. With me being me and all, I didn't think he knew that I was probably gonna somehow get wasted. Probably planning on 'taking advantage of me' or something.

We saw Sasori in the hall. As we walked by him, my hand suddenly seemed to be lacking one Bud Light, he snatched it that bitch-faced whore.

"Hey, give that back!" I pouted. He turned to face me.

"Trust me, around here, you'll want to stay sober."

I rolled my eyes. "Who are you, my mother?"

"I think you mean _whom_."

"Are you my English teacher, too?" I raged.

"No, just looking out for my little love puppet." Sasori purred.

"What? Huh? KLDJLKDJLWDKJ:LDKJDLKDJ!" I felt my body heat raise up to roughly the temperature of the sun.

"WHAT." Deidara freaked out. Sasori just stood there and smirked, completely aware what he said was out of character.

"Huh. I see how this is. Your face is redder than my hair." Sasori said coolly.

"I. Fucking. Hate. You." I said through clenched teeth. My face is still red.

"I love you too, babe." I lost it.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I stormed off, leaving Deidara alone to have a seizure or something. He may or may not be foaming at the mouth...orrrrrrr maybe that's a side effect of the beer. Yikes. Maybe I shouldn't drink any more.

I needed a walk around the base to cool my head, _and_ my feelings.

* * *

~Meanwhile...In that other room...~

Kaitlyn sat alone at the big table, looking at all the empty chairs.

"I don't think Deidara told the others." she continued to sit.

* * *

Sorry for the lack of updates, but we hope this chapter makes up for it. If only a little. We'll try to get this back on track.

And if you want more Kaitlyn hilarity, her penname is KaitlynToTheMax. Enjoy her new favorite, _Mako's Bad Day. _And the years of therapy.


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